What Wine Would the Avengers Drink?

Posted April 30, 2015

Geoff Gates


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Hello, fellow Marvel nerds. Who’s ready for some classic Tony Stark one-liners such as, “Give me a scotch, I’m starving,” and, “I already told you, I don’t want to join your super secret boy band”?! I know I am, which is why we’ve paired wines with some of the main characters of this sure to be spring blockbuster.


Iron Man

A brilliant, billionaire playboy, Tony Stark isn’t the type to do anything in a mediocre fashion. Having an expendable income like his (somewhere around $12.4 billion, chump change!) allows for state of the art body armor, a beautiful Malibu estate, and a bottle of 2005 Chateau Angelus to wash down fresh caviar. Much like Mr. Stark, this Merlot/Cab Franc will only get better after a few years in a dark cave.



How do you shop for the Norse God of Thunder and Lightning? After all he already wields Mjolnir, an enchanted hammer which only he has the power to grasp. The solution -- a bottle of wine, just like everyone else! Thor is borderline invincible and is immune to conventional diseases, so I’m willing to bet that if you want to get him tipsy you’ll need a strong wine. Enter stage left a bottle of 2012 Landmark Overlook Chardonnay. Weighing in at a whopping 14.3% ABV, this white is sure to make Thor hand over his keys to the Bifrost highway.



If you’re a server bringing Bruce Banner a glass of wine, you better make sure it’s the one he ordered. If people don’t like you when you’re angry too, try out this bottle of 2012 Pyren ‘Block E’ Shiraz to calm you down, but be warned: Its currant and blackberry flavors have been known to Hulk Smash people straight in the mouth.


Captain America

America’s one-man army, fighting for the red, white, and blue for over 60 years, Steve Rogers has earned the right to kick his finely sculpted legs up and enjoy a glass of something strong. Born and raised in the great city of New York we’re pairing him with a fellow New Yorker, the 2013 Dr. Konstantin Frank Reisling, which boasts a beautiful exterior and a patriotic spirit.


Black Widow

A KGB trained spy, athlete, and assassin, Black Widow is a serious badass who I’d imagine has quite a picky palate. If you’re looking to nab a first date, a bottle of 2012 Chateau Du Vallier 1er Cru Cotes de Bordeaux should help your cause. A nimble wine with strong ties to its hometown, you can be sure this wine can keep up with someone as sneaky as her.


A World Class archer and marksman, Hawkeye gets overshadowed more often than not in the Marvel Universe (after all, look at his entourage). But don’t get it twisted, the dude’s a badass and deserves a badass wine in tow. This 2008 De Trafford Cabernet Sauvignon Stellenbosch is the perfect pairing. There are millions like it (just like Hawkeye), but this one rises above the rest.


Do criminally insane sentient robots drink wine? You bet your adamantium butt they do! When Ultron isn’t taking over minds in an attempt at world domination, I’d bet he’s guzzling a bottle of Moet & Chandon Imperial. Knowing the determination of the Avengers, I’d recommend that Ultron hold off on toasting to his victory over the human race until the fat lady actually sings.


Geoff Gates gained his wine experience working the tasting tables at Blomidon Estate Winery, giving him enough clout to be the guy who orders the vino at every group outing. A New York native, he's recently moved to San Francisco to write more articles and, of course, drink more wine.

Product Label.

Chateau Angelus

98 Robert Parker - Robert Par...

Item: 7926

750 mL

Retail: $399.99

$319.98 per btl

Item: 17490

750 mL

Retail: $53.99

$39.09 per btl

Product Label.

De Trafford Cabernet Sauvignon Stellenbosch

90 Stephen Tanzer - Vinous Media

Item: 77701

750 mL

Retail: $45.00

$19.64 per btl

Item: 82199

750 mL

Retail: $16.99

$11.94 per btl

Product Label.

Chateau Du Vallier 1er Cru...

91 Wine Enthusiast

Item: 85895

750 mL

Retail: $40.00

$13.01 per btl

Product Label.

Pyren 'block E' Shiraz

95 James Halliday - Australia...

Item: 86159

750 mL

Retail: $50.00

$29.99 per btl

Product Label.

Landmark Overlook Chardonnay

90 Robert Parker - Robert Par...

Item: 86906

750 mL

Retail: $30.00

$15.95 per btl